Bree+F.



 "When you're a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you.The Lesson: If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will." ~Thinkexist.com

"Where do I belong?" "Is this really me?"

Finding your true character is a struggle that every teen faces. "Who am I?" is a question that everyone has asked themselves at one point in their adolescent lives. During teenaged years, it is most important to let your true self shine. Every teen joins the quest in finding their character and where they belong. It's an emotional and physical journey that every teen will soon discover.

 **Define** ~Peer Pressure social pressure by members of one's peer group to take a certain action, adopt certain values, or otherwise conform in order to be accepted ~Self-acceptance the state of beng acceptant to yourself ~Self-esteem a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect

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We all have strengths. We all have weaknesses. But, what really matters is what we do with them. For teens, self-identity and acceptance is a rough topic to grasp. For some teens, it's easy to stay true to who they are and to follow their beliefs regardless of outside pressures. But, for most teens, developing self-acceptance is a challenge. Being able to think for yourself and use your head as a judgment tool, is the best way to find yourself (Pelzer). As you make your own decisions, you will start to gain self-confidence; which will ultimately lead to your true identity. ======

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1) __Media.__ The media portrays countless images of what is "cool" or "sexy" and most of those images do not match with the majority of normal teenagers' lives. The result is that many teens often try to be something they aren't, in order to fit in or feel like they belong. They follow celebrity trends to see what they are wearing, who people think are attractive, and what is cool to the "in" crowd. ======

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2) __Friends__. Friends are the most important aspect to a teen. The teenage mind relies on peer relationships to feel emotionally secure. Sometimes, teens will fall in with the wrong crowd or do some bad things just because their friends are doing it. ======

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3) __Physical Changes.__ Physically, everyone is different. When you are younger, you don't notice those physical differences as much, but as you hit puberty and everyone's bodies are changing and hormones are raging, the differences are much more noticable. For boys, they see the ideal as being muscular and manly. Women see the ideal as being thin and just simply "pretty". So for anyone who does not fall into these "ideal" categories, the struggle to feel attractive to the opposite sex is difficult. ======

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4) __Adulthood.__ Wanting to be an adult, but not really being "old enough" yet. It's hard when you want to live on your own: you feel like you can take care of yourself and think for yourself, you want to be able to hang out with friends until whatever hour and on whatever day you want, and you want to be able to make your own decisions about your own life. Often, teens feel trapped in some kind of line between childhood and adulthood. It's a struggle to push the boundaries with your parents and at the same time deal with everything you are responsible for, but feel as though you are still treated like a child. Many teens act out, because they are frustrated with what seems like a still and never ending point in their lives, where they feel like an adult but are still under the control of their parents, teachers, and community. ======

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5) __The Digital Age.__ Teens today, have it especially hard because of social media and networking, and the feeling that you need to be constantly connected in order to fit in or be social. Everyone has a cell phone, a Facebook page, or a Twitter feed and their pictures, private lives, thoughts, and feelings are out their in the public. "I'm excited about this weekend" is no longer something said to just your friends, it's said through texts, on status updates, etc.- and it's always being judged. It's exhausting to keep up with this, in addition to knowing exactly what all your friends are doing on their sites, going to school, participating in extracurriculars, and keeping up with family obligations. Teens can easily feel left out simply by reading a wall posting about some party, instead of finding out through the grapevine. It's emotionally and socially draining to have to keep up with everyone at all times while trying to make sure what you portray to the public is also cool or accepted. ======

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6) __Societal Pressure.__ The pressure to get into a good college, get good grades, score high on national exams, have tons of extra curriculars and volunteering, etc. is extremely high. Colleges want you to specialize or choose a major sometimes even before you begin your freshman year. The pressure to know what you want to do and follow the correct path or risk failure is everywhere. Teens feel like they need to know what they want to do with their lives or what path to follow, when they honestly ar​en't sure. Kids feel the pressure to go tocollege even if it might not be the right choice for them, or they feel like they need to get into a "top" school because of the name or because one of their parents went there. Teens aren't aloud to just be teens, they are forced to think about their futures and even careers and make those decisions, when often it's hard to just choose what to wear in the morning. ======


 * Although pressures from peers are hard to overcome, parental pressures play a large role in forming your character. Pressures from parents cause a lot of suffocation and confusion of you. They often force an idea or thought upon you, guiding you on their track, not yours. The stress form parents can sometimes lead to the teen thinking that they aren't good enough because their parents expect so much from them. Parents can set high standards for their teen. If their teen fails to meet the standards, the teens self-esteem decreases; leading them to lost identity.



Many teens are confused of who they are and try to hide their confusion by faking their personalities to peers and adults (Apter). Because of this, many teens start to “experiment” within different groups in search for their true character. According to Dr. Wibbelsman, “peer pressure really takes the place of rational judgment” (Fanning). As a teen, you face many problems and situations that need confidence and intelligence to overcome. So, the “simple” solution to these scenarios is to do what you think is best. Ignore the concerns and thoughts of others because only you know what is best for you. Negatively, teens may use use drugs, alcohol or participate in sexual activity to "fit in". In most situations, teens are desperate for attention and acknowledgment (Ford). Teens will do almost anything to feel accepted within their peers.
 * How Teens React to Confusion of Self-Identity **

**Solutions** ​ (Esherick 34-36).
 * 1) Be realistic. We all have things we do well and thing that others do better than us. It's important to not put yourself down.
 * 2) Don't compare. Comparing yourself to others makes you think less about yourself. You are an unique individual and you have your own stories, experiences and opinions to the world.
 * 3) Make a list of things you like. Create a list of things that you and others like about you (characteristics, qualities, etc).
 * 4) <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 110%;">Make a list of your interests/hobbies and do them.
 * 5) <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 110%;">Do something new. Volunteer, help someone, etc. Do something that expands your boundraries. Leave your comfort zone.
 * 6) <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 110%;">Surround yourself with good people. Keep yourself by people people you love and people that love you. Surround yourself with people that encourage your dreams.
 * 7) <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 110%;">Take care of yourself. Physically, mentally, spiritually. Make sure you make time for yourself.

For more information please visit: <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif;">[|**http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Helping_Teens_Who_Am/**] <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%;"> [] <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif;">http://health.discovery.com/ centers/teen/mentalhealth/ esteem.html []

Conclusion <span style="font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 110%;">In order to solve teen identity crisis, each individual must find themselves. They have to have the courage and integrity to be who they want to be. The courage to say "no" to pressure. The courage to say "no" to the things that bring them down. The integrity to do what they love and what's best for them even if others don't agree. The integrity to be who they are 100% of the time. You must love and accept yourself. Accept your strengths and accept your weaknesses. And most importantly, be who you want to be.

can you answer these questions?... ** WHO ARE YOU? WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE? HOW DO YOU WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO VIEW YOU? **

Works Cited